Partner passes out of turn. RHO doesn't accept the call, barring partner for one round. Over to you.
Everyone agreed that the right answer was, "3NT, no problem." This was the actual layout:
On the normal spade lead, I went down two quietly, having missed our 11-card heart fit. Not so bad, since on a diamond lead, they can take all 13 tricks. The real good news is that if I were to open a normal 1, West has a Michaels cue-bid and there's no stopping them from getting to at least 4, and they can make 12 tricks in either black suit! Even if they sell out to 4 undoubled, they can get at least 300. Amazing. Sometimes luck is on your side.